An Apology

I often receive messages from people both inside and outside of The Satanic Temple who claim to find avenues for further involvement within our organization impenetrable and unwelcoming. Usually, the complainant will assume that there is an entrenched friend group operating for their own benefit, and sometimes it is claimed that some political disagreement or misunderstanding has rendered a member persona non grata. This has troubled me, but I have also assumed that there was little I could do. For one, it may be that the complaints came from genuinely undesirable candidates or, even if not, it was possible that the judgment of the various groups were guided by a system that was effective in weeding out most of the worst candidates most of the time, with some candidates being unintentionally wrongly disregarded, and maybe that is the best any of them can hope to do. In any case, I felt there was little I could do about it. For the good of the organization I intentionally put myself at a distance from our ministry and congregations, giving them the space to manage their activities themselves. 

That distancing myself from the ministry and congregations could be for the overall good of the organization might be a counter-intuitive claim to some, but I arrived at that position after a history of failed local chapters and internal melt-downs that typically result in people decrying me personally, regardless of how little interaction with me they may have actually had. Regardless of what the situation may have actually been, it was always more attention-grabbing to claim that any problems were the result of some type of background personal battle with me. Though never having had contact with me at all never really prevented anybody from going this route, I assumed that if structurally it was all but certain that they needn’t have my permission to operate, and did not take instructions from me at all, at least internally people would be able to better recognize a lying opportunist making false claims, and lying opportunists making false claims would see less opportunity in creating false narratives at the expense of the organization. Committees of peers operating under pre-established organizational guidelines with my general non-intervention as known policy seemed the best way to go.

In any case, I already have enough responsibilities that I attend to in service to The Satanic Temple, and it is hardly plausible that I take on more. And it is, I can say in complete confidence that I am not merely expressing a failure of nerves, a high-stress job. I do not think many people would do the work I do the way I do it. I do it because I believe in our cause, I believe in the value and values of Satanism, and I believe that efforts to advance theocratic interests in the United States and elsewhere pose an existential threat to democracy. Our lawsuits, tracking of legislation, strategy, structure, messaging, media, protocols, advocacy, testimony, etc, are all things I have a first-hand role in (along with a small team or teams), and it is often difficult for me to find the time to create the content for which I actually get paid. The ministry does not pay me, nor do we pay it. Ordained ministers have the potential to profit from their ordination by way of ministerial work, such as weddings and funerals, but beyond paying a nominal fee for ordination coursework, there is no buy-in and there are no dues or start-up fees.

The fact is that our ability to finance our projects waxes and wanes based upon our presence in the media, public support for our lawsuits, campaigns, and various publicly-facing efforts that drive support.

Our ministry, and other branches of The Satanic Temple, have had their own internal schisms and breakdowns through time that are indicative of our polarized times, and not entirely unexpected in any social environment. However, somewhere along the line a narrative took hold among some: the narrative that myself, and the small team that composes the Executive Ministry, are not working on behalf of the organization while maintaining the relative autonomy of ministry and congregations, but that we are irrelevant to The Satanic Temple overall. Not only are we irrelevant, but counter-productive, preventing them from doing the things that they think The Satanic Temple should really be doing, almost always in reference to demands that we allow absolute political positions in our name, or allow them to sell merchandise bearing our name and/or imagery. These are not new standards, but there often seem to be fresh complaints.

This has been an irritating fact for some time, but again felt as though it was something I could do little about. People like to speak ill of the boss, apparently, even when that “boss” is making zero demands, and I assumed they might be mortified to learn just how often I actually do see them denigrating me and misrepresenting my work. And the sad fact is that it is impossible to not feel, to some degree, held hostage in an environment where any negative exchange is certain to be placed online, without context, with some constructed whistleblower narrative that claims to show my true colors, included with various accusations about my nefarious ways.

But I have had a suspicion that a prevalent mood of hostility against the organization from within the organization was creating broader counter-productive social dynamics that go beyond disparaging Executive Ministry. Despite a clear majority of dedicated and reasonable ministers, disagreements between ministers amongst themselves or with other membership have sometimes revealed disregard for any sense of professional ministerial conduct, an unwillingness to engage in open non-judgmental dialogue or act as a judicious mediator, as one might hope a minister for any religion might. Over the past year, people — good people — have left feeling ostracized, attacked, and even betrayed by this behavior. In the meantime, still without intervention from myself or the rest of Executive Ministry, open contempt against us has grown, with some congregations taking to the practice placing bizarre disclaimers on their public-facing materials inappropriately advising that they are somehow not affiliated with the global organization. It seems to have all the makings of another schism, the likes of which people seem to work themselves up into regardless of the circumstances: if we intervene in any way and try to direct people’s work, the wannabe rebels cry that we are exercising inappropriate authority, we leave them to manage their affairs, they stir revolt against our somehow oppressive irrelevance.

But while I had grown despondent in thinking that such dynamics were an unfortunate expression of human nature, and that there was no point risking further damage by trying to mitigate an uncontrollable fire, growing silent internal support has let me know that they see the toxic dynamics, disagree with the positions propagated by the aimless malcontents, and wish to see changes that will open new avenues for participation. Some time ago, we began considering structural models to unify the Executive Ministry with the ministry, so that they are in collaboration with us. All of this is a slow process with minimal personnel and resources. In the meantime, we have seen politicians attempt to outlaw Satanism, ban The Satanic Temple specifically from public accommodations, we have been navigating threats to our safety, and experienced a bombing attempt upon our headquarters. In all that time, the people who habitually denigrate me and the Executive Ministry never seem to have changed their focus from drawing internal suspicion toward us and our worth to confronting the very real existential threats we face on the outside. The past number of months have been harrowing, and I have found myself having to choose between on high-priority item or another equal high-priority item at a time. Last week I had to miss going to court for our oral arguments in order to attend a meeting with the FBI. In consultation with security analysts, I am overhauling some aspects of my life in ways that are less than convenient, and all the while I am compelled to create content often enough to keep paying subscribers.

It was against this backdrop that I was sent a series of screenshots the other day of a group of our ministers complaining on Facebook. A minister had posted a series of memes generally conveying my perceived worthlessness and ineptitude, mostly decrying the fact that we canceled SatanCon this year. The same people who seem to have nothing to say when politicians openly try to render our religious practice and expression illegal, the same people who have nothing to say when somebody tries to kill us in our headquarters, have something to complain about when we fail to finance and organize our annual gathering for them. Further, I was mocked for apparently doing nothing more with my time than posting on Patreon while they congratulated themselves for neither subscribing to nor reading my work. A bizarre and delusional dialogue unfolded where it was suggested (again) that they have done all the work that is attributed to me. There was chatter about how they had “outgrown” TST. To be clear, this was a group consisting, in part, of TST ministers. Ministers, representatives of The Satanic Temple, on Facebook, presenting themselves this way. I sent an angry email to the minister responsible. 

He had no apology in his reply. I fired him. I am not sorry about that. My apology is to those who have suffered in this toxic environment waiting far too long for action to be taken. You are heard, and we are going to build a better, unified TST.

There are, of course, others in TST who are outraged by my audacity in this. So far I have seen none of them consider that their conduct may have been unprofessional, counterproductive, or even worthy of mention. Some people have resigned.

My email to the minister, now of course posted publicly on Reddit, had the subject heading “Invitation To Leave.” (You can read it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/SatanicTemple_Reddit/comments/1cpqz4h/luciens_treatment_of_leadership_and_ministry/ ) It is meant to be a broad invitation. From now on, we are going to have the bare minimum standard of working with those who want to work with us, those who wish to represent and advocate for The Satanic Temple. People are free to disagree with The Satanic Temple. We are also free to insist that the people who we work with align with our mission and values, and seek to grow the organization with us, rather than undermine it and try to run off with some of its assets. Those for whom it is impossible to work with TST without disparaging other branches of the organization, the organization as a whole (“TST Global”), or individuals in the organization, it is not for them. There are a lot of people already working with us and willing to work with us, understand the gravity of this moment in the battle against theocracy, and wish to help and support us in our mission. This is for you.