We're Opening a Presidential Satanic Abortion Clinic Next Week

It's in Maine, and it's called "The President’s Yuge Most Beautiful Tremendous Satanic Abortion Clinic."

In our ongoing efforts to protect reproductive rights—shifting some of the outsized privileges of religion to cover the diminishing protections for bodily autonomy—The Satanic Temple is opening its third abortion clinic in Maine on June 14th, the birthday of the current U.S. president. The clinic will be named, The President’s Yuge Most Beautiful Tremendous Satanic Abortion Clinic.

You can send a Satanic Abortion Clinic birthday card to the president through this link: http://tst.page/HBD-MrPresident

The Satanic Temple opened the world’s first religious abortion clinic, the Sam Alito’s Mom’s Satanic Abortion Clinic, on February 14, 2023 in New Mexico. “Since then,” as our website states, “we have proudly offered over 100 abortions [and many more since the last update] in New Mexico at no cost to patients aside from the medication. With an average cost of $91 per procedure, we provide the lowest-cost option for pregnancy terminations in the entire state. We’ve also helped cover travel and medication costs for those facing financial hardship, and we’re honored to have made a positive impact on so many lives during what can be a difficult time.”

In Virginia, we opened the Right To Your Life Satanic Abortion Clinic where, just as in New Mexico (and in the now-opening presidential clinic in Maine) services are free of charge with patients needing only to cover the cost of the medication through a third party at a low price.

We argue that abortion is our religiously protected right. “Consistent with our tenets that call for bodily autonomy and acting in accordance with best scientific evidence, The Satanic Temple religiously objects to many of the restrictions that states have enacted that interfere with abortion access. TST is taking many steps on behalf of our members and those who share our beliefs to establish exemptions from laws that do not promote the health and safety of patients and violate our conscience and beliefs.”

We have an Abortion Ritual which acts as a means of reaffirming one’s autonomy and contextualizing their decision to terminate pregnancy within the context of their deeply-held beliefs in the face of relentless efforts to shame, stigmatize, and simply inconvenience those who take their reproductive health into their own hands. Because prerequisite procedures such as waiting periods, mandatory viewing of sonograms, and compulsory counseling contravene Satanists’ religious convictions, we believe that those who perform the religious abortion ritual are exempt from these requirements and can receive first-trimester abortions on demand in states that have enacted the Religious Freedom Restoration Act.

As we again explain on our website, “As a federally-recognized religion, The Satanic Temple utilizes RFRA and the Hobby Lobby precedent to protect its members from unnecessary abortion regulations that inhibit their religious practices and force them to violate their deeply-held beliefs. Following the overturning of Roe v Wade, as you can imagine, each state has different laws and restrictions, and religious exemptions vary. Some states recognize religious exemptions, and some will not. The state you are in can make an enormous difference in whether the state government will recognize your right to utilize a religious exemption. Nevertheless, please know that TST will do our best to offer available resources, assist in hunting down information, and aid our members in restricted states to the best of our abilities. If you or someone you know is pregnant and wants to terminate their pregnancy, please get in touch with us so we can help in any way we can.”

Notice also, on our site, that we provide flier downloads that those so inclined for such may print off and distribute outside of “crisis pregnancy centers.” Often these are mobile “structures that disguise themselves as abortion clinics to attract people who are dealing with unplanned or unwanted pregnancies. The centers often provide misinformation and promote a religious agenda to dissuade people from seeking abortion services. Centers are not HIPAA compliant, so they are not required to protect the information or identities of those who visit. There are roughly 3,000 of these fake clinics in the United States.” Stripping these facilities of their false official veneer helps properly expose them as the ideological propaganda centers that they are.

And, unbeknownst to many, The Satanic Temple has released a comprehensive directory that addresses each state’s abortion restrictions regarding the informed consent process for pregnancy termination procedures. Many states have enacted informed consent statutes that interfere with TST's religious beliefs by requiring unnecessary prerequisite procedures and forcing Satanists to accept unscientific, arbitrary language before they are allowed to undergo an abortion. Whereas other research databases provide overviews of these regulations in convoluted grids or brief lists, only TST’s directory contains an exhaustive explanation of abortion statutes that illuminates the subtleties between state laws that other resources consider innocuous.

If you like my drawing of the infantile presidential mascot of our new abortion clinic, please consider buying a tshirt to spread the word and support our efforts to continue bringing the lowest cost and legally protected reproductive health care to those who need it: http://tst.page/ShopYuge